3.30.2005

Welcome to the Unexpected Life



"Some things are so unexpected
that no one is prepared for them."

~~Leo Rosten~~

Life never turns out quite the way one expects it to. Some of that is based on bad decisions we make. Some of it is just based on the fact that life, in-and-of itself, is patently cold and uncaring. Usually, it is a mix of both. The only solace one can take from the unexpected life is that it is patently cold and uncaring toward everyone. Somehow, that fact doesn’t give me a warm, gooey feeling inside.

On occasion, I work as part of an eviction team in the Southeast Detroit area. By and large, the families have left the premises, leaving behind only what they do not cherish (read: garbage in the basement and otherwise). We grab everything indiscriminately and toss it on the curb. Within seconds, the neighbors (read: vultures) swoop in and take anything that might be of value. Of course, before they steal their neighbor’s belongings, they’re asking us a million questions about what happened and saying things like, “They were such nice people.” Sometimes, they make these comments
as they’re sifting through the remains of these ‘nice people’s’ lives. It might be because human beings are more often than not selfish creatures. I’m not entirely sure. My Christian worldview might be painting the scenario rose red.

Today was a little different, though. Normally, the houses we enter are full of garbage and unkempt to such an extent that one wonders how anyone could live in such squalor. The house we were at today was nothing short of spectacular. Vaulted ceilings. Thirty-five thousand dollars worth of name brand furniture. Two state-of-the-art computers. Four thousand dollars in custom window treatments. Wood flooring. An extension on the home providing an stylish inside wall of exposed bricking. A Mercedes-Benz in the garage. It goes without saying…

It was excruciatingly clear their priorities were misplaced. The family purchased some of the nicest things to fill their house and garage, but failed to pay for the house and garage they were so lavishly furnishing. I felt sorry that all their gorgeous belongings were dragged to the curb and displayed for the entire neighborhood to see. One can’t even
begin to imagine the deep shame and bitter embarrassment of the situation. On the other hand, it was difficult for me to get to the point where I felt so sorry that I stopped dragging all that stuff from the house to the curbside. It was not my personal decisions that had me and my fellow evictors relocating everything to the front lawn. It was their own.

Fast forward a couple of hours. My roommates have been hankering for one of our “meetings”, which more often than not ends up being a means of ganging up on me. Apparently, there’s strength in numbers. But, I can’t be too upset with the meetings. They’ve led to good change from time to time. However, the purpose of this particular meeting (I assume our
last meeting) was to inform me, in no uncertain terms, that when our lease is up in a month, I would not be renewing with them. Bless their hearts. (read: This is what I say when I would much rather rip out someone's juggular. Were it not for several federal, state, and Biblical laws prohibiting this type of behavior and the incentive of not going to prison as a deterrent, I might not have abstained.) So, in one month’s time, I must save up enough money for a security deposit, one month’s rent, find new roommates, find a place to live, and find a new car to drive. I’m a little bitter, but they have their reasons. I don’t believe they’re legitimate reasons, mind you, but its two-to-one and the smelly cat, that same cat peeing on my stuff, more of that same cat swiping at my legs and hissing at me whenever possible, two gerbils, incessant pipe smoking, neurotic mind-set, accusatory attitude, fraternal approach to everything, and the occasional drunken confession kind of grate me the wrong way anyhow. Still, those are things a man is willing to live with if he has to. They’re the quirks that come with the unexpected life. They’re the quirks that come with friendship. Besides, I have a bigger list of faults than my roommates (though, for the purpose of making myself look like the victim here, I will not go through them).

Needless to say, the unexpected life is exactly that…unexpected. Completely and utterly. At the beginning of the day, I’m sure the owner of the house we evicted today did not foresee his family’s belongings piled high on the street. At the beginning of the day, I did not see myself with 33 days to find and forge new relationships when I’m happy with the ones I’ve already got. But, I guess I ought not be surprised by it. Life comes exactly the way it was designed to come…unexpectedly.

I’d love to tie this up with a great Bible verse or wise saying that will sustain the reader throughout the week. I’d love to say, I’ll find all the things I need in such a short period of time. My thoughtful roomies say I’m a smart guy and ought to be able to figure it out. Life is unexpected, though. Maybe I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’m not as smart as they give me credit for. I guess its the patronizing thought that counts? Anyhow, I don’t have any wisdom for the moment. I’m in an unexpected place, expecting only more of the same. Could be part of the story of my life that’s being written. Could be bad chutzpah. God only knows.

I’m 25. This is my life. Welcome to it. It’s all uphill, plateaus, valleys, and downhill from here. Keep your hands and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Please. No screaming.

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