The Scrutiny, Part II: Let's Pretend
"We are what we pretend to be,
but we better be very careful
what we pretend."
~~Anonymous~~
Three weeks have passed since I sent out my survey questions. The hoopla has died down. My initial feelings of hurt and out-and-out mystification have passed. Friends have scaled back on calling to make sure the overwhelmingly negative responses regarding my life and character have not driven me to dire measures…like crying.
And in my back pocket I have tucked away this insanely romantic notion that if I focus on my faults enough—remaining acutely aware of what they are and how they affect the people around me, I mean— I will somehow be able to “reinvent” myself. Those close to me have, of course, advised against such a thing. “Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will only enhance the inevitable letdown when you are found out. Just be yourself.”
But, in a fashion that is characteristic of being C. E’Jon Moore, I have opted not to heed their advice. At least, I do not intend to follow their counsel in the classic sense. Bear with me.
In his magnum opus, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis puts it this way:
What is the good of pretending to be what you are not? Well, even on the human level, you know, there are two kinds of pretending. There is the bad kind, where the pretence is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretence leads up to the real thing. When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we all have noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That is why children’s games are so important. They are always pretending to be grown-ups—playing soldiers, playing shop. But all the time, they are hardening their muscles and sharpening their wits, so that the pretence of being grown-ups helps them to grow up in earnest.
Now the moment you realise “Here I am, dressing up as Christ,” it is extremely likely that you will see at once some in which at that very moment the pretence could be made less of pretence and more of a reality...
I freely admit we very well may be comparing apples and oranges when I hold my friend’s advice next to Mr. Lewis’ take on the subject, but I do not, personally, believe this to be the case. We live in a world that demands a certain measure of fakeness in order to survive day-to-day interactions with one another. I commented on this in my blog entry titled An Honest Ramble about how much I hated this…my patently postmodern cry for authenticity. The subject even came up this past weekend amongst the impressionable, know-it-all, angst-ridden twenty-somethings (myself included) that had gathered on the porch of my friend’s home. Since reading Lewis’ words, though, my thoughts have sobered regarding the matter…and I realize the world may have a better grip on what it means to be Christ-like than the Church (in this area).
What does this mean for me, though? Certain things in my life can’t be remedied by simply pretending to be what I am not, can they? Of course not! I can’t be a good father from 60 miles away by simply pretending to be one. Tomfoolery! Pish posh! Some items of personal concern will undoubtedly require practical steps taken to achieve an attainable goal. But, there remain items where I will become seemingly pretentious in hopes of catching what Lewis refers to as “the good infection”—the kind of life Christ has.
In his magnum opus, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis puts it this way:
What is the good of pretending to be what you are not? Well, even on the human level, you know, there are two kinds of pretending. There is the bad kind, where the pretence is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretence leads up to the real thing. When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we all have noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That is why children’s games are so important. They are always pretending to be grown-ups—playing soldiers, playing shop. But all the time, they are hardening their muscles and sharpening their wits, so that the pretence of being grown-ups helps them to grow up in earnest.
Now the moment you realise “Here I am, dressing up as Christ,” it is extremely likely that you will see at once some in which at that very moment the pretence could be made less of pretence and more of a reality...
I freely admit we very well may be comparing apples and oranges when I hold my friend’s advice next to Mr. Lewis’ take on the subject, but I do not, personally, believe this to be the case. We live in a world that demands a certain measure of fakeness in order to survive day-to-day interactions with one another. I commented on this in my blog entry titled An Honest Ramble about how much I hated this…my patently postmodern cry for authenticity. The subject even came up this past weekend amongst the impressionable, know-it-all, angst-ridden twenty-somethings (myself included) that had gathered on the porch of my friend’s home. Since reading Lewis’ words, though, my thoughts have sobered regarding the matter…and I realize the world may have a better grip on what it means to be Christ-like than the Church (in this area).
What does this mean for me, though? Certain things in my life can’t be remedied by simply pretending to be what I am not, can they? Of course not! I can’t be a good father from 60 miles away by simply pretending to be one. Tomfoolery! Pish posh! Some items of personal concern will undoubtedly require practical steps taken to achieve an attainable goal. But, there remain items where I will become seemingly pretentious in hopes of catching what Lewis refers to as “the good infection”—the kind of life Christ has.
posted by C. E'Jon Moore @ 19.7.05
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