Retraction
I have deleted my last blog entry titled "Exit". I realized, after some deep thought and reflection, I wrote my thoughts with venom rather than temperance. Many of my thoughts remain the same, but it would be immature for me to leave such a vehement entry up for collective consumption. I will take care of the issues I have with the appropriate parties. I apologize if my words have inspired rage.Tempered Thoughts:
I really just don’t understand it. I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m lonely. And supposedly all of this is my fault. I can’t confront sin. No one will listen, anyhow. I need to get it all together. I’m apparently bitter against the Church that has helped me so much, even though I wasn’t aware of it. My heart is so hurt. My life is simply an gaping wound. It’s like…I can’t…can’t breathe. I’ve done everything I can to understand this confusing plan of God. I’ve latched onto Christ and told Him I will not let Him go until He blesses me. And, I have been told “now is not the time for this activity” or “you seem bitter and we cannot allow that here.” I have found no answers in Christ’s Church, even though I love her with all my soul. I have found no solace in friendships, even though I cannot live without them. I am taking a sabbatical from the collective Church for a bit, though. I am rethinking my relationships. I need to clear my head. I don’t know where this journey will take me. I truly don’t. But, it is something I have to do alone.
I really just don’t understand it. I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m lonely. And supposedly all of this is my fault. I can’t confront sin. No one will listen, anyhow. I need to get it all together. I’m apparently bitter against the Church that has helped me so much, even though I wasn’t aware of it. My heart is so hurt. My life is simply an gaping wound. It’s like…I can’t…can’t breathe. I’ve done everything I can to understand this confusing plan of God. I’ve latched onto Christ and told Him I will not let Him go until He blesses me. And, I have been told “now is not the time for this activity” or “you seem bitter and we cannot allow that here.” I have found no answers in Christ’s Church, even though I love her with all my soul. I have found no solace in friendships, even though I cannot live without them. I am taking a sabbatical from the collective Church for a bit, though. I am rethinking my relationships. I need to clear my head. I don’t know where this journey will take me. I truly don’t. But, it is something I have to do alone.
--C. E'Jon Moore
posted by C. E'Jon Moore @ 21.6.05
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