6.26.2005

Announcement


"...the external call is never legitimate,
except it be preceded by the internal; for it
does not belong to us to create prophets,
or apostles, or pastors, as this is the
special work of the Holy Spirit."
~~John Calvin~~

A lot of people don’t see the call on my life. I’m not exactly sure what a person means when they don’t “see it”. I ran from it and formulated my own plans, because it seemed that maybe I hadn’t heard God calling me to anything at all. But, the further I ran, the further into the crowd I disappeared, the more I became frustrated—broken. After a few months of intense prayer and questioning of the Throne of Grace, here is the announcement. God has called me to be a pastor. If you do not see this, that is okay. God does. It is everything I don’t want to be, but it is the burning desire of my heart. It is a fire shut up in my bones. People are dying and going to hell every single day. Am I foolish enough to think I can save any of them? No. But, Jesus has branded His desire on my heart and I am undone. If you do not see, then pray that you do…for it will hurt your eyes when it comes to pass. Pray that my heart remains open and tender to the leanings of the Holy Spirit. Pray that I mature as a man and get my house in order...especially the difficult parts of it. Pray that my vision for Christ's Church continues to grow, though I might be frustrated with her from time to time. Pray that god would bring people into my path who can come alongside and mentor and bless and pray for me. Above all, pray that I seek Christ with my whole heart.

*This announcement does not at all imply that I do not take to heart the counsel or advice I receive from Godly friends and leadership in my life, especially from those who do not see the calling of God on my life. What it means is that I fear the Lord more than I fear man. Yahweh's peace.

posted by C. E'Jon Moore @ 26.6.05 2 comments

6.21.2005

Altars, Part I




Search me and know me God. Know my anxious thoughts. Lead me. Oh lead me. Burn out every sinful thing in me. Tear me to pieces and then mold me into who I know you mean me to be. Ravage my soul. Embrace me in your holy arms. I am alone without You. I am nothing without You. Purify me. Make me clean. Give me the words to say that need to be said in the spirit in which they need to be said. Open my eyes. Open my ears. Open my mind. Open my heart.

posted by C. E'Jon Moore @ 21.6.05 0 comments

Retraction

I have deleted my last blog entry titled "Exit". I realized, after some deep thought and reflection, I wrote my thoughts with venom rather than temperance. Many of my thoughts remain the same, but it would be immature for me to leave such a vehement entry up for collective consumption. I will take care of the issues I have with the appropriate parties. I apologize if my words have inspired rage.
Tempered Thoughts:
I really just don’t understand it. I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m lonely. And supposedly all of this is my fault. I can’t confront sin. No one will listen, anyhow. I need to get it all together. I’m apparently bitter against the Church that has helped me so much, even though I wasn’t aware of it. My heart is so hurt. My life is simply an gaping wound. It’s like…I can’t…can’t breathe. I’ve done everything I can to understand this confusing plan of God. I’ve latched onto Christ and told Him I will not let Him go until He blesses me. And, I have been told “now is not the time for this activity” or “you seem bitter and we cannot allow that here.” I have found no answers in Christ’s Church, even though I love her with all my soul. I have found no solace in friendships, even though I cannot live without them. I am taking a sabbatical from the collective Church for a bit, though. I am rethinking my relationships. I need to clear my head. I don’t know where this journey will take me. I truly don’t. But, it is something I have to do alone.

--C. E'Jon Moore

posted by C. E'Jon Moore @ 21.6.05 0 comments